My video ~

Here is the link of my video - how to maintain long distance relationships. Hope you enjoy it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmrGmL6Metk

In-class Writing: contrast of conversational styles

During my teenager time in my family, I have limited freedom to do what I want. I always say to my parents: "I want that doll!" "I want to watch that TV show!" "I'd like to go travelling with my classmates." And their reply is like "Well, it depends on the results of your test." "No way. You need to do your homework first!" However, I will not be upset about their rejection. On the contrary, I will keep saying things like "Please let me go travelling with my friends. I promise I will finish all my homework in advance and get good grades in the exams!" "Please let me buy this and I will do whatever you want! "
The conversational styles of me and my parents are so different. I keep sending my requests and desires to them, asking for permission. And then they raise many conditions that I have to fulfill, indicating their authority and power. For a imaginary child like me, I always have so many dreams but I have to rely on my parents to achieve them. After all, I am just a obedient child. Their words and actions can determine all my happiness and sorrow.

Argumentative Essay

        How to Maintain Long Distance Relationships 

He Haiyun Sea

52639407

People’s relationships, nowadays, are experiencing “globalization” as well. There are a growing number of lovers who are separated by thousands of miles. Long Distance Relationships (LDRs) have become increasingly common phenomena (Guldner, 2003). In fact, the best estimates suggest that in the USA, there are 3,569,000 married persons who live apart for reasons other than marital discord in 2005. Besides married couples, as many as 75% of college students report having a LDR, and 35% of college students are in LDRs at any given time (Stafford, 2005).

Generally speaking, these long distance relationships are due to social, environmental and economic factors such as participation in military activities, studying abroad, increased opportunities to work overseas and the emergence of online relationships. With the development of new communication technology, we can get in touch with people by various ways such as telephone, e-mail and social networks, etc. It seems that these electronic devices shorten our distance but geographic separation still remains an obstacle in relational maintenance (Merolla, 2012). According to a study by The Center for the Study of Long Distance Relationships, the rates of break-up of people in LDRs versus proximal relationships over 3 months are respectively 37% and 21%. How to maintain LDRs has become a puzzling problem. And here are some typical fragments of LDRs.

In the first case, Ms. A and Mr. B were lovers in college. After graduation, Ms. A went to study abroad and Mr. B started working in the city they once lived. They chatted with each other only twice or three times a week through Skype and did not have a fixed time. Here was a problem: they had little time to communicate with each other because both of them were so busy with their own business. And since their environments were quite different, they gradually found they had few topics in common. After a long period of time, they thought their communication became as dull as fulfilling a meaningless task. Finally, they chose to break up.

From this case, we can know when lovers are apart, it is vital for them to have regular and good communication. So my solution to this problem is that couples need to always keep in touch with each other and establish certain communication rules, such as set a regular time for communication. Telephone and video chat are both good ways to keep their passions alive when they are apart. And more importantly, they need to know how to be intimate through communication. They can share every little day-to-day event and their moods with their lovers. Besides using phones, they can also send e-mails, write diaries and take pictures, using anyway they can to express their emotions and also understand their lovers.

In the second situation, Ms. C and Mr. D, a married couple, were separated because Mr. D needed to work in another city for a period of time. Owing to his work, Mr. D had to attend lots of dinner parties, where he knew a pretty young lady. That lady showed her interest to him but he tried to keep a distance with her. However, the rumor of Mr. D and that young lady somehow took off rapidly and suspicious Ms. C heard of it eventually. Regardless of the explanation of her husband, Ms. C firmly believed that he betrayed her. After hundreds of quarrels, Mr. D could not stand that she did not trust him at all so they ended up with divorce.

From the story above, we can know that mutual trust and respect do play significant roles in maintaining LDRs. People in long distance relationships must grapple with trust issues to a greater extent than people in geographically proximal relationships. (Guldner, 2003) And trust is based on honesty, which is vital to every relationship. The longevity of LDRs often depends much on how honest they are with their lovers. Do you feel any one show interests to you? Do you think your lover spends too much time with others? Every small detail like this in life can be a time bomb which may destroy LDRs. So couples should always be honest with their lover and solve all the problems right away. Apart from that, people should also never make any random assumption about their lovers and so that there can be mutual trust and respect between them.

In the last case, Mr. E and Ms. F lived in different cities but fell in love with each other through online chat. The problem was they both had stable jobs, families, circles of friends in the cities they lived and neither of them could easily give them up. They kept their LDR for years but did not know when they could live together, like a normal couple. With time going by, they could not bear the distance any longer so chose to break up.

This case shows a key point of LDRs: a promising future that lovers can be together someday. If lovers will be separated forever and there is no end to their LDRs, it may be too difficult to maintain LDRs because they have nothing to look forward and their waiting seems meaningless. Therefore, my solution is that couples should decide earlier if there can be an end to the distance so that they will have a firm belief to be together eventually and all the waiting they have to do is worthwhile.

However, partners in LDRs still have to face the truth that their lovers are not by their side. No matter how advanced communication technology is, it can never equal to face-to-face communication. No matter how deeply they trust each other, they will still come across misunderstandings or even cheatings. Yet, it does not mean that maintaining LDRs is totally impossible or meaningless. In fact, if we see it from another perspective, it is a tough test to lovers. Once couples really go through it, they can find how precious their love is.
In reality, you will never know what your future may be like, and cannot stay with your lover in every moment of your life. So just in case of separation with your lover someday, you are supposed to learn how to deal with it. Here is a perfect example to illustrate the possibility of LDR. Aung San Suu Kyi, who chose to rescue her country instead of staying with her family, kept fighting for democracy in Burma and only saw her husband Michael few times for years. Tragically, after 10 years of campaigning to try to keep his wife safe overseas, Michael died of cancer without ever being allowed to say goodbye to his wife. Many people are touched by their great love story, which proves that even though couples are apart, their hearts can still be tied together.
To conclude, maintaining LDRs is an uphill battle, but it is still possible as long as you believe in the infinite power of love. If he or she is exactly the one you want, do not be afraid of LDRs. The best solution for this problem is always keeping regular and good communication with your lover, building mutual trust and respect as well as having a promising future in your mind. Besides, it also requires lots of patience, sacrifice, tolerance and understanding. Only in this way, can you closely connect your hearts together and successfully maintain LDRs.



References:
FAQs About Long Distance Relationships. Retrieved April 19, 2013 from http://www.longdistancerelationships.net/faqs.htm.

Frayn, R.(2011). The Telegraph. In The untold love story of Burma's Aung San Suu Kyi. Retrieved April 19, 2013 from http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/burmamyanmar/8948018/The-untold-love-story-of-Burmas-Aung-San-Suu-Kyi.html.

Gulder, G.T. (2003). Long Distance Relationship: The Complete Guide. JFMilne: Carona, CA.

Long Distance Relationship Tips: Making It Work. Retrieved April 19, 2013 from http://www.essortment.com/long-distance-relationship-tips-making-work-37290.html.

Merolla, A. J. (2012). Connecting here and there: A model of long‐distance relationship maintenance. Personal Relationships, 19(4), 775-795.

Stafford, L. (2005). Maintaining long-distance and cross-residential relationships. Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.

In-class Writing: A letter to Dylan

Dear Dylan,

I agree with your critical ideas about the problem of idealized virginity of women. I also feel that idealized virginity is a tool to keep women in their place through my related study in college. The tradition and moral code of society always tell women that virginity is a sacred gift a woman should reserve for just the right man. However, why there is not such a rule to restrain men? The different social expectation towards men and women actually indicated a fact again: the inequality between men and women in terms of sexual behavior. You know this fact well so that you chose such an extreme way to bring this problem to the public and to make a satire like this.

I totally understand and support your point of view but I don't agree with your behavior which selling your virginity on the Internet because it's a too extreme form aiming at making people think about the problem in depth. After all, you are just a 22-year-old girl. You don't need to truly sell your virginity due to this reason. Women's sexual liberation doesn't mean prostitution. It just requires us to look at this problem in a more open and just perspective.

In-class Writing: Things that make you mad

He Haiyun Sea


52639407

I have to admit it that I am a sentimental animal. There are always countless things making me happy or mad. For instance, being isolated by others makes me mad. Meeting irritating people makes me mad. My group mates do not do anything in group projects makes me mad…… Thousands of scenarios come into my mind. However, most of these causes are external factors, which I cannot control. Actually, the thing making me mad the most is that I have procrastination.

How can I fail to control myself! I do not know since when, procrastination has been everywhere in my life. Because of it, I am often late for my class or appointment with friends. There are always a pile of dirty clothes in my room but I just cannot find a right time to deal with them. What is more, I always fight for my assignments or tests at the last-minute time before deadline, just like what I am doing now. Procrastination can be disruptive to our life. And solving this problem can obviously benefit not only me but also people around me. My friends can see my changes and probably they can also learn from me. Hopefully, procrastination can really walk away from our life in the future.

Descriptive Essay

Back to my wonderland

He Haiyun Sea

52639407

I can already feel it before I come into my room. It is such a familiar feeling, which is full of years of my moments and memories in this wonderland. My big soft bed in the middle of the room as well as a lovely cat toy on it greets me with warm smiles, “Welcome home!”

I could not wait to hop into my bed right away and stretch out my arms and legs which are as heavy as stones in this cotton cloud comfortably. I take a deep breath and the subtle lavender scent from my comfy pillow flies into my nose as I am lying in a beautiful large lavender land. The delicate texture and smooth touching of the cotton bed sheet from my fingertips are still the same as the ones years ago. The limpid blue and green lines on my bed sheet make me fall into a fresh and cool sea. I close my eyes, thinking about the countless happy, sad or weird dreams I once had in this cosy place.

A refreshing breeze blows in this lazy afternoon, making the half-closed white thin drapes dance. I can smell the fragrance of flowers and grass outside, hear the songs of birds and feel the gentle wind on my face. As sunlight pours in through the windows and shining on my small tatami, I can even see the golden dust dancing merrily in the air. The mildness of sun from the tatami drifts all the way from the glass of windows, through the sheets and then to my warm body. I am engulfed by the fragrant flavor of sun, humming a tune, “I want to take a ray of sunshine and never leave home.” All the fond memories come back to me again like a flood.

My wooden desk is in the left side of the tatami and my white metal bookshelf sits quietly on the opposite corner, witnessing the passage of time through the years. Most of the books on the bookshelf are old ones bought before high school because I rarely purchase books now. I walk in front of my bookshelf and wipe away the 10 meters of thick dust out of those old books. I can still think of the story behind every book when I see the name and cover of it. They are precious memories of my childhood and teenager life. However, I may have different feelings if I reread them at the moment. Time has changed and I have also been changed by time unwittingly. I can see that little imaginative girl, who is satisfied and cheerful in the world of books, read voraciously at the wooden desk in the sun. Yet, I cannot be that girl any longer.

Time always flies away like an arrow. All the things will gradually fade away and slowly disappear some day, without a trace. It is like today, I am away from home and miss my tiny wonderland from a distance. Life passes like a dream. I hope I can collect all the cherished memories in my wonderland and go ahead to live a regretless life.

In-class writing: Writing from the picture

My lucky day

He Haiyun Sea

52639407

You could never image how eager I am to get rid of Katy, who is the most horrible girl in the world. She is heavy but always likes to wear under-size dresses. She thinks she was smart but always makes things a mess. She says she is the most popular girl at school but no one even wants to get closer to her. But somehow such a weird girl started to pursue me several days ago and kept asking me to date her, which almost became my nightmare. Therefore, I decided to meet her and make her hate me as much as possible.

I invited her to go for a drive with me on that day and intentionally drove my broken car. Maybe only god knew that clunker was almost written off. I drove her to a desolate and forsaken place where normal people would never come and said many offensive and impolite words on the road, making her look uncomfortable. After a while, as expected, my car broke down. I pretended to be helpless and just kept swearing all the time, which must be stupid enough to make her hate me. She stood from a distance from me, crossed her arms and finally said: “I don’t want to see you anymore!”

Fortunately, she has not contacted me since last time we met. I am sure that day is absolutely my lucky day. It is so wonderful that I do not need to see her again!

Causal analysis

Procrastination: why don’t we do it now?

He Haiyun Sea
52639407

See I have to write this essay/ that the teacher gave last week/ and it's due tomorrow morning/ twenty pages all in Greek/ Nah but first I check my Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter, call my Mom/ Then just one more, one more page/ Oh I waste so much time dot com!

The above text is from an interesting song called Procrastination, which exactly portrays the life of procrastinators. Procrastination means putting off important tasks till another day or replacing high-priority things with ones of lower priority. I do not know since when, procrastination has been everywhere in my life. There is no doubt that procrastination can be disruptive to our life. Yet, when we are surrounded by thousands of choices, why do we always choose to put off important things till tomorrow? For me, causes of this problem may be the lack of self-control, the lack of confidence and perfectionism.

My sanity is fighting with my laziness every day to push myself finish every task in my daily life, such as getting up early. Self-control plays a significant role in my decision making process. So the lack of self-control can lead to my compromise to laziness, happily doing what I want at that moment instead of taking the possible consequence into consideration---What will happen in the future if I don’t do it now? Every time I need to get up early for my class in the morning, probably I would say to myself, “Let me sleep for 5 more minutes…just 5 more minutes…” And after several 5 minutes, the consequence is obvious: I will be late for class! Therefore, the lack of self-control directly causes procrastination.
ides, the lack of confidence may also result in procrastination. Before starting doing a task, I may doubt my related knowledge and ability, being afraid to let others know that I cannot handle this well so that I am in fear of the start. I think I still need more preparation and it is not the right time to do it now. And then the task can be delayed for a really long time and I will never find a proper time to start. Hence, procrastination is often because we are never confident enough to take the first step.

Last but not least, another important reason for procrastination is perfectionism. I want to make everything perfect so that I always have unreasonably high expectation, which is originally a high standard to stimulate me to work hard. However, due to the huge difference between expectation and reality, it may become an impossible goal for me to achieve. For example, if I want to lose weight within two weeks but I seldom exercise, then this goal can only upset but not encourage me. Apart from this, I think there is always a right solution for my problem, and before I find it, I do not want to do anything because it might be wrong. So if exercise cannot make me get a slim figure in a short time, I would rather do nothing and wait for a better way to achieve my goal perfectly. The result is the same—nothing changes.

To conclude, whether it is due to the lack of self-control and confidence or perfectionism, procrastination is because we always hold off our first step to begin. Hence, we should always be sane, think about the possible consequence when we are making decisions, and convince ourselves that it is already a good time to begin now. Any small achievement is worth encouragement because all the people including great writers and artists are doing their masterpieces step by step. Make the first step bravely and say NO to procrastination, your life will become better.

In-class writing: A letter to Ann

Dear Ann,

After reading your article about dog food, I really appreciate your great exploring sprit. More importantly, your article prevents another horrifying tragedy from happening. Actually, I am fond of animals especially cats and dogs so I pay attention to what they eat. I have been interested in pet food since the first time I saw it in the supermarket. Those beautifully designed packaging and lovely advertising of pet food left me deep impression. I am always longing to try it until I saw your article.

At first, you vividly show me how bad the taste of dog food is and how low nutritional quality is by your detailed description. You talk about the disgusting taste of the dog food comparing it to Play-Doh, making me feel like I am chewing Play-Doh. My beautiful illusions about pet food totally collapsed. Besides, your focus turns to the misleading advertising tactics and slogans of pet food which are used by the food companies. How ridiculous they are!

Thanks for making me know the truth and please keep your exploring spirit in the future.

Best,

Sea

In-class writing : FB story

Identity

He Haiyun Sea

52639407

She sat in front of a desk next to the passageway and read carefully, putting her slim fingers on her short hair. The ray of sunshine came through the window and illuminated her beautiful side face, which had been in my dreams for hundreds of times. With my heart pounding so loudly, I walked up to her and asked: “Hi Erica, shall we have dinner together?”

Hearing this unexpected invitation, she was surprised and stared blankly at me, “Sorry... but I don’t think I know you.”

“Erica, I am sorry to bother you but I just cannot help to talking to you in school. All I want to do now is just tell you that… I like you.”

Although I had imaged this situation in my mind for many times, I would not deny it that I was still nervous. However, her react was beyond my imagination. She frowned and opened her mouth as she was shocked, and said, “I don’t know who you are or why you want to tell me this. I have to say that I am shocked. I am sorry.” Then she hastily packed her bag and was about to leave.

“Erica, it is Leo, the boy who has been chatting with you on Facebook for over 3 months…”

She stopped and turned to me, saying: “Yes, I do have a Facebook account but I seldom use it. And I did not talk with you on Facebook at all, not even once. I am afraid that you find a wrong person.”

I was stunned to hear what she said and suddenly my mind became blank. I shouted to her: “Are you kidding me? You added me on Facebook and sent messages to me first! If you don’t admit, you can check your Facebook now!”

“You are crazy!” She ignored me and walked away.

Why she pretended to be a stranger in front of me? She did add me on Facebook 3 months ago and chatted with me enthusiastically. From online chatting, I knew we were in the same college and shared so many interesting topics. Erica said she was too shy to talk to me in school at the moment and promised to meet me after 3 months. Though we had not yet talked to each other in reality, I could recognize her easily because of her pictures in her Facebook album. She was so beautiful and I just could not take my eyes off her. Finally, I made up my mind to ask her to go to dinner with me and tell her that I like her. Yet, I never thought her reaction would be like this. I was upset the whole day and thought about what was really going on. I sent messages to Erica on Facebook but she never replied. Later, she closed her Facebook account. There were thousands of possibilities in my mind. Did I do anything wrong to make her angry? She did not like my appearance so she tried to avoid me? Or anyone was impersonating her by using her Facebook?

I met Erica again on the campus 1 week later. To my surprise, there was a boy who looked inconceivably like Erica sitting next to her. The moment I saw them, I felt like my body got an electric shock and it was so weird that I did not what to do at all. Surprisingly, they came up to me slowly and I could feel his glowing gaze towards me. With a strange expression, Erica said to me: “Hello Leo, this is my twin brother Eric.” I looked at that boy’s pretty and slender face. A horrible idea came into my mind…

“Leo, I am sorry. I was a coward and I cheated you. My sister had no idea about it…”

“So it is you who use Erica’s Facebook account to chat with me all the time?”

“Yes.”

“Is it funny to see I am cheated by you? Are you satisfied with everything now? Why did you play this kind of joke?” I just felt like I am a clown and bitterly look into his eyes, which seemed have something different.

“I was not joking,” he said solemnly, “It’s all true except my identity. Could do please forgive me? “

In-class writing: Narrative

A Piece of Summe

My image of summer is green. Everything is fresh and vivid in this hot season. Inside my open air conditioning room, I may sit in front of my wood desk, doing mountainous of homework for the whole summer vacation and eating juicy watermelon which has been in refrigerator for half an hour. My cat is in her sweet dream, standing by my side silently. I can feel the warmth from her white fuzzy clothes. The quiet room is filled with sunshine, which seems can melt me. I stop writing and think about the appointment with my friends in the afternoon. We may drink fruit juice together by the seaside and chew the ice from our cups. A cool breeze blows, bringing a burst of fresh smell from the quite sea. Our naked legs beneath the short skirts enjoy the soft greetings of summer winds.

In-class writing: My road to success

He Haiyun Sea

52639407

   If you ask me about my definition of success, I may be speechless for a while. There are several people’s usual answers to this question: an ideal career, a happy family, a sweet lover or lots of money? However, it is hard for me to make a decision among these choices because they are too specific to me now. If I have to give an answer to this question, I can only give you an abstract idea, that is, live a simple life without regret.

   How to live a life without regret? My principle of life is to follow my heart. I was a pretty idealistic person in my childhood. I wanted to be a famous person in the world, such as a pop singer, a painter or a writer because I enjoyed arts. At that time, success meant I could do what I wanted. Later on, the reality gradually made me become a more practical person who had to make some compromise. When I chose a major of university, I did not take creative media into consideration because I realized how difficult and hard to be a famous artist. Actually, my father wanted me to choose a major related to business because it seemed easy to find a stable job. Yet, I refused to do so because I clearly knew that I hated business and I could not succeed in this field without interest. Ultimately, I chose media and communication, which was also my interest, but I was not sure whether it would be my future career. Could anyone say that I would not like business in ten years?

  On the road to my success, the key points are defining small goals in different stages and achieving them steps by steps. First, it is necessary to have a goal in mind, such as getting a higher grade next semester. Only do I have a clear aim in my mind can I know my direction. Besides this, working hard is likewise of great significance to success, especially for people like me, who are without perseverance. If I try my best, no matter what the result may be, I feel no regrets. Therefore, I can say that I am successful.

Why I write

He Haiyun Sea

52639407

According to my MBTI test result, there are four key words describing me: extraversion, intuition, feeling and perceiving. I have to admit that they are quite reliable. It is true that I am a curious, creative and imaginative girl. I am keenly perceptive of people and of the world people live. Actually, I also think I am a walking contradiction. Sometimes I may be really outgoing and enjoy interacting with people very much because social events can always give me perception of new things and a sense of belonging. Yet, sometimes I may refuse to talk and prefer to be alone. At that time, reading, writing, music as well as films can give me infinite happiness.

At first, the reason why I write was that I read. I have been fond of reading whether literature masterpieces or small stories in magazines since my young age. I loved to exchange ideas with others by communication. Besides talking, reading was another significant way to communicate with people and it allowed me plenty of time to think. Reading variety of stories gave me possibilities to explore the minds of others and enrich my perception about the world I live. At that time, narrative was my favorite type of reading because reading it felt like I was living a different life of others. It was so wonderful to me that I could discover something new and share feelings with strangers through reading their stories. 

All the reading experience was the preparation of my writing. After years of reading, I hoped that I could also be understood by others and influence people by my words, so I started writing some narratives when I was in my primary school. Basically, they were just the imitation of my favorite novels. I was like a white paper at that time and those magic words on the pages just filled up the paleness and emptiness of my life. I admired the power of those stories and tried to express my emotions in similar ways by writing my own stories. And I did publish few short novels in some small magazines, which make me think about being a writer for the first time.

However, my writing career did not continue developing well. Actually, I stopped writing after I went to high school, when life was not easy at all. I lived under great pressures from my parents, teachers and myself, studying hard day and night simply for getting into a good university. There was no time for me to think and I gradually lost some kind of imagination. In my limited spare time, I might choose to watch a film to relax rather than writing because it was too hard for me to express my mixed feelings merely by writing. I just could not write anything I expected. Therefore, I preferred to spend more time on watching others’ stories instead of thinking about myself. Maybe it was a kind of escape. I wanted to run away from my jaded spiritual world so I refused to write.

After graduation from high school, I left my hometown and went to university in Hong Kong. I had been pessimistic for a long time because of cultural shock and loneliness. Everything in Hong Kong was quite different from what I was familiar with. I found it difficult to adapt the climate, food, language in Hong Kong and what disappoint me most was that there were no parents and old friends by my side to comfort me and keep me strong. I was terribly lonely and I needed a way to release myself so I chose writing again. I fell in love with poems because I was not fond of logical thinking and did not want to be restricted while writing. By writing poems, I could express my emotions freely and arrange words artistically. At that time, I found writing poems can not only give me some comfort, but also a sense of satisfaction. All my poems in those days recorded my every step in university and reminded me of my new friends who cheered me up and helped me walk out of depression.

Until today, I still keep writing, which is not only my career but also the key to my life. Through writing, I record my spiritual journey and find the growing of myself. Finally, I realize that I write because it makes me know who I am.